Balanced Living

Change or Transition?

What’s the difference between “change” and “transition?”

“Change” is situational and external; such as moving to a new city or becoming a parent. In contrast, “transition” is psychological or internal. Transitions are the internal work that helps us to reorient and redefine ourselves and incorporate external changes into our lives.

How can you turn a challenging major life change into an opportunity?

1. Slow down; for example - rather than getting back on the internet and going out dating right away at the end of a relationship, why not take some time for yourself.
2. Reconnect with yourself and what you enjoy - Take some time alone to think about times in your life when you felt really happy and alive. Think about things you used to do and haven’t for some time or things you’ve dreamed of doing and have never taken the time for. Begin doing them - start with one activity and note how it makes you feel.
3. Be aware of and acknowledge your feelings rather than push them down and not allowing yourself to experiencing them; this is important to begin the process of healing from the inside out.  Your feelings might be out of balance. Intense emotions around transitions might be the result of attaching old fears and anxieties to new situations. When you do not clean up your old baggage it tends to resurface in times of stress. Make sure you do not make your transition more stressful by compounding your fears.
4. Express those feelings through journaling , painting, drawing, etc.
5. Nurture/pamper yourself - go for a massage; buy a new outfit; eat at your favorite restaurant. Do something special for yourself and remember that you deserve the best.
6. Spend time in nature - go for a walk by yourself in a nearby park or plan a hike with a friend; being in nature is grounding, helps clear us of negative energy, relaxes us and helps our minds become more clear.
7. Exercise - do something physical such as a good walk, yoga or a swim; these help the energy flow and also assist in getting rid of tension, anger and stress.
8. Reach out for support - to a friend, counselor or life coach.  Thousands of people rely on coaches to help them through transitional periods in their life. By using a coach you get the depth of someone else’s experiences and the benefit of having structured guidance.

Remember that change affects everything. Your life is a whole system so there is no way to make even small changes and not have them influence other parts of your life. Make sure you look at your transitions from a holistic viewpoint.

If you change your perspective around a major transition and see it as an opportunity for growth, fun and self-learning, positive things will begin to happen in your life.

Here’s to connecting, creating and transforming your life to one of joy, fulfillment and balance!

Creating a Balanced Life

Some believe the notion that a truly balanced life is only a myth. With too much to do and with too little time to do it, anxiety and stress replaces happiness much of the time.

However, there is hope, because the ability to change our lives exists in all of us. We just need to learn how to become more balanced. 

Living a balanced life is the ability to take all that life throws at us from our careers, home, health and everything else, and put it in a central location so we can reframe it in order to better understand it, learn from it and grow from it.

Create a Vision
Before you start, you need to know where you want to go. The lack of not having a plan is what keeps some folks from creating the life they want because they have no idea what they want in the first place.

A life vision is not an etched in stone deal that can never be changed; but rather, it is a high-level vision statement that goes something like, “this is what I want from my life.”

For me, I want to meet, or exceed, the financial and emotional needs of my family. I want to be in control of my future and give myself the ability to have choices with my career. I may not achieve all of these things every single day, but this vision is what gives me focus and a very good idea of what a balanced life looks, and feels like, when I’m struggling and veering off course.

Identify Your Goals
Your life’s vision is what provides direction to how you want to live; your goals are the basic components of your vision. Your goals help make your vision a reality. For the most part, goals are measureable and quantifiable.

Goals can vary in size and scope. One goal might be to retire at age 50 in order to begin living your life’s passion and another might be to find one evening during the week when you and your partner can go out and spend some time alone.

Often, our lives feel out of balanced when we have not clearly defined our goals or we are not actively pursuing them. Take time each week; each day, to consider what you want to accomplish. Make a plan to align your activities to your life’s vision.

Prioritize
Do what’s important first. The distractions of email, text messages, and mind-numbing television can keep us from focusing on what is truly important.  In order to spend time on activities that support your life’s vision and keep your daily life in better balance, consider these productivity tips:

· Have at least one hour of email amnesty each day at work, or try to   shut-off your email one day each week.

· Get up at least 15 minutes earlier each day to give yourself a better head-start and use this time to make your plan for the day.

· Make a list – mental is fine, but written is better, of the things you need to accomplish and the things you want to accomplish for the day.

· Be on the outlook for timekillers such as planting yourself in front of the television or thinking of who to call next.

· Know what you value most in life and then spend more time there.

Five Golden Minutes
Take five minutes each day and consider what worked for you and what didn’t. Look at the things that made you feel successful and happy compared to those that contributed to anxiety and stress.

Look for patterns. Living a balanced life is about identifying and doing more of what’s working and less of what is not. Stop and think if your actions and thoughts support your visions, goals and values. Nurture the ones that are effective and adjust the ones which are counterproductive.

Pay Attention to Your Body
If you are feeling fatigue and worn down at the end of the day, or find it difficult to get up in the morning, these may be signs of emotional/mental confusion resulting from a life that is not consistent with our values.

Persistent headaches, constipation, and muscle tension are all warning signs your body, and your life, are out of balance. Your body is an excellent sounding board. It will tell you a lot about the quality of your life if you choose to listen.

Ask for Feedback and Help
I’m not sure anybody has everything figured out. Asking for feedback is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of resolve and determination. It shows a commitment to wanting to improve your life and for learning how to balance everything thrown at you. Reach out to those who have experienced what you are experiencing and seek their guidance.

Make Adjustments
Stuff happens. Sometimes we are thrown a curveball when we are expecting a fastball.

We can think something is expected to happen, and then unexpectedly, something else happens instead. Life is dynamic. Yes, it’s good to have a plan, but a big part of any plan is the contingency plan that stands right behind it. Having a good back-up plan can help us keep our balance when we see the fastballs coming.

Rest and Relax
Taking a time-out now and then isn’t a luxury as much as it is a necessity. It’s important to take a step back and process everything going on in your life. Your vision can be a lot clearer when you are not so close to the situation.

Creating a balanced life involves slowing down long enough to identify what your ideal balance looks like.